Blush

May be it is our culture but I have a nagging feeling that it is just my family that is like this. All they do is embarrass me in public. So my mother had always been very scared that my brother or/and I would bring someone home one day and say "this is going to be my spouse whether you like it or not". To ensure that no such thing happens she took the best precaution she could think of which was- never to use the 'l' word or the 's' word. She belived that safeguarded by this strategy,  my brother and I would never fall in love nor will we think of sex until marriage. So even when my friends married one another with burning curiosity to know who proposed love in their relationship she would ask me 'hey deepa! So which one of them told first?' 'Told what amma?' I would say playing along. 'That you know..who first said that I want to be...friends..with u?' She would ask triumphantly after deciding that 'friends' would be the word to replace 'love'. 'But they have been friends since childhood amma you know it' I would say with twinkling eyes and she would give a frustrated sigh finally choosing to ask someone else the detailed story instead of risking the mention of the 'l' word.

That is how I grew up ok but marriage apparently is supposed to make everyone feel free to talk of such things to me. I realised that to my utter embarrassment soon as I was married. I was just leaving to my husbands house the night after our wedding for the first time and my mother s sister calls after me loudly 'kanney you are going for your first night with your husband no! Enjoy! And oh, all the very best to you. Make sure you make him happy' I turned red and looked around to see all my relatives, my husbands relatives and his firends all grinning at me. Why? Why me?

Then barely a year into my marriage the others in the family got bored.they needed something exciting so..yes thats right- kids. Every time they meet me they go 'ah time to have kids'. One went so far as to say 'you have been happy for a year now...therefore it is time to have kids'. What the hell? And no they wouldn't ask anything about babies to my husband. So knowing they wouldn't ask him I took to telling them that my husband doesn't want kids now. You can imagine my surprise when one asks me to come closer and says 'you know if u want kids you should tell your husband that. The best time would be when the two of you are having sex..and he is on..' 'woah! Stop stop stop..my ears hurt. Do I know you? You are like 70 years older to me please dont talk to me about sex..' that was the screaming in my head. But could I stop her? No! She went on to tell me at exactly what moment during our love making I should tell my husband that I want kids.

Amma are you proud now? U strategy worked..I am still uncomfortable with the l and s words. But if this is what you wanted please teach your sisters and aunts also to be like that because if not I am going to die of embarrassment.