you take a conscious decision to try one..despite the taboo and the bitterness, you venture out to experience that which has been the sign of celebration and destruction to many..people around you seem absolutely comfortable and avoid looking in your direction for everytime they look they know you start being unsure...you know that despite the apparent disinterest shown, all of them are looking at you through the corners of their eyes..
at first it doesnt feel. you glow with pride, having taken the first step. you wait..looking inward..wait for some reaction..nothing happens...then you wonder why people gave you wrong ideas..you look around..you see that all are staring at you. you smile and they grin..
you debate again within yourself..the other start talking of other things or ask you how it is..you just mumble..inside, you are wondering why you are not feeling anything when you are supposed to be..then you dare to take the second step..but this time, you join in the conversation and act as if this is normally what you do. slowly you take step by step without realising..
all of a sudden it hits you that you are either talking too much or not listening to the conversation going on. it pulls you back and you look down. you shake you head and you like it..the others are looking at you..they give a winning smile and ask "so, what s happening". you give them a relaxed smile and say nothing but just shake your head, for it feels good...the others laugh at your face and that is when you realise you are 'high'.
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