Monday, October 13, 2008

Empty mind-devils paradise

Three days at home doing nothing and the devil in the form of thoughts had found a good breeding (rather BROODING) ground in me. I remember a time when I used to yearn to just be alone for sometime but now…it’s the other way round. Being a person who does not keep much in touch with ‘friends’, I have but a handful of friends. Even they stay very far away from me. Thanks to technology (mobiles), we get to talk once in a while.

So here I was with nothing to do except the Idiot box to stare at and spend the rest of the precious day sleeping. What do I do- End up picking up fights with everyone I know. I imagined every conceivable problem with the way they spoke to me or did not speak to me (trust me those 3 days I thought all that I imagined were nothing but ‘bitter truth’ which the other person was unable to accept). At some point I even feared clinical depression.

The philosopher in me woke up and came up with innumerable questions some of which went thus:
Shouldn’t you learn to accept this loneliness if you are to raise your quality of living?
What do I want in life?

The second question bothered me so much that I asked my friend to help me who claimed that I knew what I wanted but that I was just not able to accept it. The devil in me became furious that this was all the help that he could offer.

Just as I was beginning to think that I would have to leave everything and go off to Kaasi or some place like that to get some peace of mind, the blessed Monday dawned. I have never in my life loved Monday so much. With it came the promising new energy and enthusiasm to be spent on the current love of my life-my work.

Thank God for Mondays, otherwise who knows where I would have been by now.

8 comments:

sai... comfortably dumb said...

you sound like Dagny Taggart! :)

unpretentious said...

sai:

i ll take that as a compliment though i dont understand that chanracter completely:)should read Atlas shrugged

dharmabum said...

loneliness and being alone are two completely different things.

oh, and work is good therapy, yes.

Balu said...

Inactivity can be a curse:)
Are u a fan of Ayn Rand? Just saw your mention of her name in your comments.

Balu said...

I mean .. saw your mention of Atlas shrugged.

kaushik said...

sometimes thoughts can take over you-na!

Something that I should have learnt...but I am not!

"Over-analysis is always disastrous :p"...but can't stop getting into that mode on those saturdays when I just want to lay on the bed...

Came over here from your comment on Usha's kodumai blog :p

Cheers!
Kaushik

unpretentious said...

Dharma:

true but for me aloneness for a prolonged period of time bring loneliness:)

Balu:
No i haven read that book. just looked up that character on the net when sai mentioned it. gotta read it though, the book sounds interesting.

Kaushik:
yeah certain time thoughts just over power you ddespite desperate efforts to curb 'em:)

Anil P said...

Most answers are to be found within.